5 Reasons We Give Up

Failure is a part of life.  We fall short, give up or never start.  It’s necessary to provide us with lessons but can sure be frustrating as hell sometimes.   

Failure has been a part of my life since as long as I can remember.  I struggled to apply myself in school. I missed important shots or struck out in important situations. I lost my voice speaking in front of important people.  Over and over again, I find ways to fail.  

Many of my failures have stemmed from inability or ignorance.  Rarely, they were a result of giving up.  There’s something noble about failing trying our best and there’s something awkward and embarrassing about giving up on our pursuit.  

I was a pitcher in high school with dreams of playing college baseball.  I spent my days practicing and my nights researching, doing everything that I could to become a better baseball player.  

I got a lot better.  My fastball got faster and my confidence grew.  As college approached, I was met with a decision.  

I was a “late bloomer” in high school, which resulted in having very little interest from college coaches until the Spring of my senior year.  As with many aspects of my life, my decision on where to play college baseball came down to the last minute.

On one hand, I could play Division 3 baseball for a team that was excited to have me, with promises of playing time in my first year and a few “academic” scholarships.  It was a chance to play college baseball and immediately have fun playing the game that I loved.  

On the other hand, I was offered a “potential” walk-on spot to a Division 1 program.  The coach had used his allotment of scholarship money but felt that I could make the team if I showed up in good shape.  Playing time was not guaranteed and I would have to earn every pitch that I threw in my first year.  

Needless to say, I didn’t try to walk on.

Looking back on it, the decision that I made feels like a time in my life where I gave up.  For my entire childhood, I wanted to play baseball at the highest level that I could. When given the opportunity to earn the chance, I balked (baseball pun) and chose the “easy” road.  

The funny part is that up until the very last day, I had my mind set on trying to walk on to the D1 program.  I knew that I could compete and how I responded to challenges and felt that I could have success if I dug my heels in and worked.  

On the final day that I had to make a decision, I went with the D3 choice.  Why? 

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret going to Keene State College.  My brother went there which gives us an endless connection. I met a few of my best friends there, learned a ton and made some memories. It was awesome! Why though, didn’t I choose the road that I’d been chasing?  Why did I give up on that final day? 

My reasons for taking the easier road that day, for giving in, had many similarities to why people give up on their training programs at the gym.  I want to outline a few below.  

By appreciating why we give up, we can make better decisions in those final day moments, where the decisions we make have an affect on our lives for the coming months or years.   

Below are 3 reasons that I gave up on my Division 1 dreams.

1. I honestly, deep in my gut, didn’t think that I could do it. 

This is a tough pill to swallow.  I remember how I felt about myself in those days and on that final day, when my decision had to happen, I couldn’t ignore the feeling in the pit of my stomach that I wasn’t good enough and that I couldn’t improve enough to get there.  Talk about an awful feeling.  

2. The alternative really wasn’t all that bad. 

I enjoyed my time at Keene State.  In the end, I’m glad I made the decision.  On that final day, where a decision had to be made, I knew that if I took the easier road, I’d be fine.  Things would work out and I’d enjoy myself.  By having that solid alternative, it was a lot easier to give up on a dream that I’d had.   

3. Nobody really knew about it or cared, so I didn’t have to explain myself.  

My friends didn’t particularly care where I went to school. My parents just wanted me to be happy, they didn’t really put much stock into the internal battle that I had raging about the baseball decision.  Everywhere I turned, I was met by someone who either wasn’t aware of my decision, didn’t care about my decision or would support my decision no matter what I chose.  By not having to explain myself to anyone, it was a lot easier to take the easier road.

These three reasons have cropped up time and time again for me in my life.  When faced with giving up, if I don’t pay attention to these three factors, it’s much easier to simply walk away.  

How can we apply this to our health and fitness? The same way that I’ve applied it in my life.  If you really have a goal.  Something that you really want, address these three scenarios.  

If you want to lose weight, eat better or train harder, address the confidence that you have inside of yourself.  Do you really think that you can do it? Can you look yourself in the mirror and convince yourself that it’s possible? Or even probable?  Before addressing anything else, convincing ourselves of our own capability is Step #1.  

Is there an alternative that isn’t that bad?  If you’re trying to reduce body fat, is keeping the amount of body fat that you have right now an acceptable result?  If it is, no worries! Just realize that by being content with the alternative, the chances of success with an uncomfortable goal may be reduced.   

Do people know about it?  This is the major play for personal trainers in health and fitness.  If you don’t show up to a training session, your trainer will call, text, email or WUPHF (Office reference) you to make sure that you know you missed a training day.  

When I raced my IRONMAN, my parents and friends knew about it.  If I gave up or walked away, I was going to have to tell them that I’d bowed out and chosen not to race.  By having people know what I was chasing, it was easier for me to feel the need to stick with it.  

Chasing big goals and dreams can end in failure for a variety of reasons.  Sometimes, we do our best and still are left in the proverbial dust by life around us.  That doesn’t mean quit trying.  

“The only real failure is the failure to try” is a cliche that deserves to be kept around.  Assess what factors lead to you giving up and address them.  If my three are three that you struggle with, go solve them!  Sticking with things will get a lot easier.  

Thanks for reading.  Chase your goals!